55 Great Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy That Might Make You Laugh Your Head Off

Jeff Foxworthy is a comedian who is known for his Southern humor and his observational comedy. He has been performing for over 30 years and has released several comedy albums and DVDs. Foxworthy is also the author of several books, including "You Might Be a Redneck If..." and "No Shirt, No Shoes...No Problem!"

Jeff Foxworthy Quotes: 55+ Great Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy That Might Make You Laugh Your Head Off

by Tony Bertaut

4 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	3322 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Print length	:	20 pages
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In this article, we will share 55 of Jeff Foxworthy's funniest quotes.

1. "If you're not supposed to eat it before you cook it, then why do they make bacon smell so good?"
2. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
3. "The only time I ever see my wife in the kitchen is when she's looking for something to eat."
4. "I've been married for 25 years, and I've never had a fight with my wife. Of course, I've only been home for seven of them."
5. "My wife is a great cook. She can make a delicious meal out of anything. Even cardboard."
6. "I'm not a big fan of exercise. I've never seen anyone running from the cops who was in good shape."
7. "I'm not a picky eater. I'll eat anything that doesn't eat me first."
8. "I'm not a morning person. I'm more of a night owl. Or a day owl. Or a twilight owl. I'm just not a morning owl."
9. "I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I do believe that the government is hiding something from us. Like the cure for cancer. Or the truth about UFOs. Or the recipe for Coca-Cola."
10. "I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in God. I just don't believe in organized religion. Or organized anything, for that matter."
11. "I'm not a political person, but I do have a favorite politician. His name is Nobody, and he's running for president. I'm voting for him because he's the only one who hasn't promised me anything."
12. "I'm not a social person, but I do have a few friends. They're all weirdos, but I love them anyway."
13. "I'm not a smart person, but I do know a lot of things. Like how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or how to change a tire. Or how to avoid getting lost in the woods."
14. "I'm not a strong person, but I can lift heavy things. Like a bag of groceries. Or a child. Or a small car."
15. "I'm not a talented person, but I can do a few things. Like play the guitar. Or sing. Or dance. Or juggle. Or unicycle. Or eat a whole pizza in one sitting."
16. "I'm not a perfect person, but I'm trying to be a better person. I'm trying to be more kind. More compassionate. More understanding. More forgiving. More loving. And more patient. I'm not always successful, but I'm trying."
17. "I'm not a rich person, but I'm not poor either. I have enough money to pay my bills and put food on the table. I'm not driving a Rolls-Royce, but I'm not driving a Yugo either."
18. "I'm not a famous person, but I'm not a nobody either. I'm just a regular guy trying to make my way in the world. I'm not perfect, but I'm me. And I'm proud of that."

These are just a few of Jeff Foxworthy's funniest quotes. If you enjoyed these quotes, be sure to check out his comedy albums and DVDs. You're sure to find something that makes you laugh out loud.

Jeff Foxworthy Quotes: 55+ Great Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy That Might Make You Laugh Your Head Off

by Tony Bertaut

4 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	3322 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Print length	:	20 pages
Lending	:	Enabled

FREE